Please don't be jealous of my sparkly pink spatula

I wish I could tell you that I bought my brand new Barbie-colored Le Creuset spatula so that it could drip with irony in the spoon jar on my kitchen counter and underscore what a pseudo-retro hipster foodie I am, but I must admit that this is not the case.

It shocks me to realize that somewhere along the way, I stopped buying pink items in order to reclaim the traditional color assigned to womanhood and use it for subversive feminist purposes. Nowadays I buy pink because I really just seem to like the color, you know?

Ok, maybe you don't. Maybe you think pink is nauseating and loathesome, and that spending good money on a garish, barfy-colored spatula smacks of selfish Western decadence. You're probably not wrong.

But then there might be a few of you (and I will know you by your Hello Kitty stickers and your My Little Pony girlie tees) who understand this form of attraction. Maybe you succumbed to that baby pink KitchenAid mixer a few years back, or you have a stash of 1950s hostess aprons in your closet that you thought would be funny for parties, but now you wear them cause they make you look sort of hot.

I don't care what the pink haters think. All I know is, I'm finding every excuse to bust out my beloved spatula. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, whipped cream, raw eggs, ganache - all are deserving of a few glittery caresses. And don't be fooled by the girlish appearance. It's tough and muscular, and because it's silicone, it can withstand temperatures up to 800 degrees.

If I have made you covet my pink sparkly Le Creuset spatula, you can get your very own at Sur La Table. And if my apologia on behalf of kitchen pink hasn't changed your mind, maybe the esteemed South Jersey Courier-Post can do a better job.

Or maybe not.